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so, today in bio class, my professor just came up to me and started talking about how he was going to take his 400 days of vacation, and just up and leave. he talked about his therapy, his divorce, his ex-wife's meth problem, his depression (didn't say that, just said that he spent his mornings curled in a ball and crying), and that his situation was killing him.

now, i know this is what i plan to go into, but still. i'm not licensed, i haven't done this before, and i really am not sure exactly where to take this.

in my opinion he needs the following:

1. human interaction of a personal nature
2. to feel validated, worthwhile and that he is meaningful to others
3. something to do, aside from school, and his now non-existent family
4. something to engage his mind, and take it away from his problems/regrets (he's a scientist, which means he lives in his head)


i am not sure how to provide these things, and though it isn't my responsibility, i feel that i should make some attempt to help someone when they reach out, even if it is totally beyond what the teacher student relationship is supposed to be... any comments?

Only one answer. Have him make a Dark Ages character.

I'd hate to be cliche, but his situation seems to be classical clinical depression. It may be warranted by his circumstances, but his condition probably warrants prescription medication.

I do not support the whole 'medicate everyone for everything' mentality, but in a lot of cases there is in fact a biological abnormality that leads someone to be prone to depressive bouts, as well as other mental abnormalities.

It sounds like he has a therapist, he should definitely examine whether the therapy is helping, and if it isn't, he should consider seeing a different therapist.

A person this depressed (curled in a ball crying) should probably NOT be unaccountable for 400 days. A year without work? I don't think so.

It's my understanding, and cheyne you have a lot more experience with this sort of study than I do, that even though it may make someone miserable, work often times gives a sense of meaning to life that people are unaware of until it is gone. Hence the relatively high mortality rate of retired people of all ages, regardless of suicide and existing health issues.

If he is determined to use his vacation time, I would recommend that he travel. Or join the masons. Or pick a new hobby. Absolutely anything but more time spent curled up and crying.

I got a B on my most recent neuro exam, and therefore with my irrefutable medical expertise I prescribe him SSRIs.

I would wonder if he has any other symptoms of a seratonin deficiency, migraines at any point in time of his life, things like that. It is not medically determined, but an abnormally low pain tolerance may be indicative of a similar deficiency. If he has low seratonin, then he'll be statistically prone to bouts of depression like this, and SSRIs may be able to relieve some of his depression.

I would definitely recommend that you take the hand that reached out to you. He may not feel close enough to anyone else at the moment to talk, and talk is what he clearly wants to do. Or he may unload all of this stuff on cashiers at walmart and random passerby. Either way, best of luck in dealing with him.

thanks for the response gideon. i really am not sure where to take this.

i of course asked about therapy, and he volunteered that he was on medication, so there isn't much i can do there.

i agree that he needs to stay active, but i do think he needs to get away and make changes. so far that's all i've really told him. while i think work is good, i think all it is doing now is adding stress and keeping him in the same pattern that has made him miserable, but at the same time he can't just go camping with some wine like he suggested. that will just make him worse.

what i think he really needs is real interaction w/other people, but clearly, since he's turning to a student he just met, he doesn't have much. from what i can tell he was always a bit of a nerd, lives in his head, overanalyzes everything, and is a highly dependable/anal person, making these recent changes in his life even harder than they might be for another person.

i asked my old psych prof for advice, but i didn't hear back from him when i emailed him at christmas, so i'm not sure if i'll get anything back this time either. i may go talk to the dean of my sociology dept and ask him advice as well, since he was a marriage and family counselor.

well in a more serious vein than "hookers and beer" type answer I would suggest maybe he see if there are any research projects he could get involved in. He is a biology professor/scientist who lives in his head... Maybe combine travel with resarch in a 3rd world country... or do some volunteer work with like Greenpeace... its 1 something to do, 2 a different routine than the one he is in now, 3 something he could do while on a year of vacation (especially the volunteer work) and then return to teaching... might help to help others and either idea would almost certainly thrust him into interacting with others

that isn't too bad an idea actually. i'm thinking about giving him a little list of activities or something. if i do that would certainly be good to add.

I'm with thael on this one. There is nothing that reconnects you with people and your own sense of self worth like doing something that makes you feel needed & genuinly making a diffrence in peoples lives.

Point out that although it's good to get away and relax & de-stress; if he dosen't have some progect AND goals to keep him preoccupied he will just spend more time doing what he is doing now, dwelling on things which cannot be undone instead of doing. He needs something which will prevent him from loosing his perspective (or more accuratly gain a new one), which if he runs away entirely, he is likely to do being a cerebral type of guy. As you pointed out he seems to be hedded that direction already.

Also those traveling abroad programs have a way of throwing you together with a group of people which becomes tightly knit for it's reliance on one another an a familiar anchor. That is to say, it facilites bonding FAST. That would be a very god thing for him. One which will not likely occur outside such unusual circumstances.

If he dosen't jive with that you could always suggest he look into group councaling. Perhaps seeing that he is not alone in his experience, & having the impression that others care and understand, if for no other reason than they see some of themselves in him, will give him hope. That or he may develop a deep distain for them and find a resolve not to let himself sink that low.

Also there, the potental for pity/lonliness sex. Sex is just a desperate way to affarim that we are alive, that we are not alone. Its also one of the 3 natural cures fo rdepression. The other two being sunlight and excercize.

K, bye.