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Your lifes goal was to be Cheyne's guinea pig?? No offense to Cheyne, but that is sad... Why am I dating you again? (j/k)

don't discourage him.

in face "de-discouragement" should be the theme of any interaction you have with him in this regard.

Hey, being a guinea pig is a noble and time-honored tradition. Besides, I suppose its probably not my ONLY lifes goal. My other is to be a kept man.

And for the record you're dating me because I possess the power of the 'nose wiggle'.

no, i in fact am not. i'm dating you b/c you pay part of my rent.

Yeah he is, and once you move...well I hope that you are finished with him because you can consider that bridge burned.

Wait...I'm dating two people? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things. It hard enough trying to juggle multiple 'partners' when you do know about it. The only benefit here is that I have plausable deniability. Oh wait...I just ruined that excuse too. Well fine then, be that way, you aren't the boss of me. You ain't my momma. Its my body and I'll do what I want!

no. wrong again. it is our body. it will do what we want.

I can't control me, I'm like a wild thing. Designed by nature as revenge on humanity for its wicked ways. Trying to control me is like...like, trying to control a thunderstorm, and I have fought thunderstorms, and won.

No human force can contain the glory of my perfect self. No mind or tool devised by man, is able to keep me in check. I am Elf hear me roar, "RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!"

i made him say that.

I don't think anyone will ever believe you. Your mind, as brillant as it may be, simply is not capable of controlling the wild animal that is living inside my head. Don't feel bad, you're in the same boat as all the human race. You can't handle the power of the beautifully mad mind inside me. I feel it in there right now scratching, and clawing, and trying to growl its way out. I am art my friend...art, and great art can never be immitated.

nope. i made you say that. i told you i was controlling you, thus making you protest said control. it was all very predictable.

Sorry, but its just to far removed from everything humans know about universe, to believe that being able to control ME is even remotely possible. Besides you would never ever subject yourself willingly to one of my 'protests', everyone knows what those can be like, and I find it highly improbable that you would actively get me to unleash such a thing (especially if its going to be after you).

Besides couldn't I just say that I knew you would know I was going to protest your claim of control, and so thus make said objection specifically to have you say you knew I was going to do it? This would mean that ultimately you were under my control, which is the far more likely scenerio. Because if I knew that you wanted people to think i would say what you wanted me to say, then would I have really said it? It only follows that I would have said the thing you wanted me to say, and that I knew you wanted everyone to see me say, if only it served my true intentions all along. Which of course is to get you to play right into my hands.
HAHAHA-MWAHAHA-MWWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

PS: Don't even think of saying you told me to say that. Cause I know, and you know that I know whats really going on here........(ominous silence)

and i made him go into a nonsensical rant, as i knew he eventually would. my mastery is proven.

AH HA, and the jaws of my trap are closed. Like a helpless fuzzy creature you skitter before my genius. Staring out in freightened terror at the giant that looms ominously before you. "What," you wonder, "will he do with me next?",
but this is a question only time can reveal the answer to.